How Can I Motivate Myself When Things Get Tough?

If you’ve ever lacked motivation to train or work out, you’re not alone. We all have days when everything feels off – when we’re tired, frustrated, not seeing results, or struggling with things that seemed easy last week. It’s tough. When things are going well, staying motivated is easy. But on those tough days when the world feels like it’s falling apart, it’s a different story.

So how can we stay motivated when life gets tough?

Let me walk you through a quick reflection exercise.

Imagine you’re on the biggest adventure of your life. You expected challenges, but the journey is even more challenging than you imagined. Terrible things keep happening and it’s really knocking you around. You struggle to keep going.

Now, as you carry on with the journey, what kind of a friend do you want by your side?

• A friend who says, “Ah, come on, it’s not that difficult, stop being such a cry-baby! Suck it up and let’s get going!”
• Or a friend who says, “This is really tough but I’m here for you. Come on, let’s do this together!”

I don’t know about you but I’d definitely go for the second one. So when you’re struggling to keep going in life, what kind of friend are you being to yourself?

If your answer is more like the first, you’re not so different from me or anyone else. We all do that sometimes. And sometimes it works doesn’t it? Tough talk often helps you get the job done. Mission accomplished. But at what cost? What’s the long-term impact on your well-being?

If you’d like to learn to be more like the second friend and learn a new way of motivating yourself, keep reading.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Struggle

Whenever you’re in a tough situation, difficult thoughts and feelings show up and you lack the motivation to start a task, go to training or do a workout, the first thing I encourage you to do first is acknowledge your suffering. Acknowledge that having difficult thoughts and feelings is tough. Acknowledge that you’re in a challenging situation.

Step 2: Be Your Own Best Teammate

Imagine your best friend was struggling the same way as you are. What would you say to them? Would you say something like, “I’ve got you” or “We’ll get through this together”? Try saying the exact same thing to yourself.

Step 3: Connect with Your Values

Check in with your values and goals. Remind yourself what values and goals the task that you lack the motivation to do is in the service of. How will completing the task help you become the person or athlete you want to be?

If the task helps you get closer to becoming the person or athlete you want to be, use that to motivate you. Use your values to motivate yourself to do what you need to do to achieve your goals.

If you’re unsure what your values are, that’s okay. Consider the following scenario and questions to find out:

Imagine I’m interviewing your teammate, partner or coach about you.

• What would you like them to say about you?
• What would you like them to say about the kind of a teammate or partner or friend or athlete you are?

Your answers to these questions are your values – the way you want to behave as you pursue your goals, when you achieve them and when you don’t.

I encourage you to try being more like that second friend to yourself. Respond to your suffering with understanding and kindness, and use your values to motivate yourself. Then let me know what it felt like!